Wednesday, August 7, 2013


Our neighbor fiend came over again today and the little ones had a blast painting with the paints she brought over! The older kids made a blanket fort in the living room and banned the little kids from it after they knocked it down! I find it hilarious, although the kids took the situation all too seriously. One of the reasons I love kids, their biggest problem is having their blanket get knocked off the table! That's fantastic! They calmed down when I told them they could rebuild it tonight and sleep in the front room! <3
After the neighbor friend left, I got the kids ready and they headed over to the after school program, my friend offered to watch them so I could go to a therapist on campus after my friend had an episode at my apartment and got sent to the mental hospital. Nobody was hurt. She is never violent and I know she would never hurt anyone. She gets scared and runs like a mad woman, which scares other people who call the police which really scares my friend! It's a vicious cycle, but I won't get into on here. The point is they offered free therapy and I said heck yes! My opinion is everyone could use a good therapy session once in a while no matter what your mental state is! It's just as important as going to the doctor or church or school. You want to be healthy mentally as well as physically, spiritually and intellectually! Or at least I do.
Obviously I won't get into details here (although everything I told her I'm pretty sure I already blabbed all over Facebook and Blogger anyway!!) but something I got away from it, the one thing that made me open up like a knife to a watermelon (sorry I just had watermelon, it was so good!) was when she said,"I can tell you're a very caring person because of how concerned you are with your friend but what about YOU. How are you taking care of yourself? How are YOU doing?"
I literally broke into tears.
I'm always taking care of other people making sure they're alright and I'm constantly ignoring my own needs and that it becomes a problem for me sometimes and my mind begins to flood with everything I do for others but when it came to myself, I put stuff I enjoy or need on the back burner. I told her as tears streamed down my face that I had been a mother since I was sixteen and that I've always taken care of people and it came so naturally to me. I know I'm not a selfish person but its come to he point where I get stressed out because I need to find some kind of a balance.
I hadn't thought about selflessness being a bad thing before! Not bad, but not good for your mental health.
Anyway, it was good for me to realize that I need to consider my and my family's NEEDS before taking on someone else's issues. I also can't be her friend, her mother, and her therapist so I'm going to have to chose friend.

Shane came home and showed me today's fortune! Looks like we will be heading on a vacation not soon enough for the world of fortune cookies!
Sorely needed.
Peace, love, unwindulax!

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