im not always layed back, dude!

The Ryersons are confused!!!

yes i mean all of us...

Shane has no idea what he wants to be when he grows up... still!! I wish i could tell him but hes just the kind of person to do the opposite of what i tell him unless i didnt mean it, then he does it.

i want to tell him to stick it out and get his math phd, but i know hes gonna be bored and hate it and end up failing out. i want to tell him to go for the engineering program, but i dont want to stay here in student housing that we can hardly afford! i want to tell him to apply in another state somewhere far far away, but i dont know how long i can last without my family or close friends. i have never been able to make a friend as good as the ones i did when i was a kid.

im going straight out of my mind with elijah! ELIJAH, the sweetest cutest most adorable little guy on earth! ever since our trip to hawaii he has been nothing but terrible! well not entirely of course. but heres the thing, my kids get spoiled to heck when gramma takes them for a few days or more, thats why i didnt want my mom to take them away when the baby was born, but of course she did anyway. and it actually wasnt as bad as i thought it would be so i let her take them for a week when we left for our free hawaii trip, which i will write about next!

when we came back elijah would not go to bed on time like he used to, he used to be the BEST sleeper ever! seriously! it would be like nine at night and we already gave him bath brushed teeth and read stories so we would pick him up and say night night its time for bed and he may squirm a little if he didnt feel like sleeping but almost always would just lay back and lift up his arms to get ready for the blankey to fall on him, then he would snuggle into his bed and close his eyes. it usually took at most 2 minutes!!!!

now, well now it takes at least 20!!!! its driving me nuts!!! he doesnt want to go to bed so i let him stay up a little later to run around a wear himself down, when that doesnt work i use force and stick him in bed the exact same way i used to but now he can climb out and keeps doing it, i cant rock him because hes still got enough energy to squirm out of my arms. arrrg!

but tonight was better, everytime he got out of bed i put him back in and told him it was bedtime, then he got up once more and asked for a bottle of milk. so i gave it to him against my better judgment and he stayed in bed! im not doing that every night so his teeth can rot out!!!

ugg, and on top of that he wont eat anything i give him! he says no to the sandwiches and no to the cereal and no to the bananas!!! bananas were his FAVORITE!!! im so sad...

he says, "nandy! keecoos!!" which means candy and cookies of course. and i ask him if he wants milk or juice (which is still pretty full of sugar) and he says, "NO! Hot...ko-ko!" which is his way of saying "hot coco" of course.... geez sugar-a-holic!! oh yeah, he gets in the fridge and pulls out everything he can, like eggs. he loves eggs, but if they arent boiled they make a mess, and if they are boiled they make a mess!!! ugg... poor willow is getting neglected and the house is getting beat up because im either scolding or entertaining elijah or nursing willow!

yikes, then theres nephi. poor kid being the oldest and whatnot. every time i turn around hes turned on some sort of electronics device. i let him play for a few minutes but when i finally ran down the list of banned electronics for the day he complains about going to visit friends!!!!

i want to see this friend i want to see that friend!

why cant you play with your siblings?

i dont want to!!

play with your brother so he will stop making messes please!!

its boring!!

play with him or clean your room, you choose.

elijah, lets go play with blocks!

*sigh*

and at school is another story. i love his new teacher, shes totally awesome and really down to earth and way positive about life!! shes easy to talk to and very thoughtful and kind.

he had been doing pretty good with his peers and not getting referrals from the yard lady. but once in a while he will get one for shoving or bumping or doing something clumsy with his body. he says he didnt do it but we have explained time and time again that just because you didnt do it intentionally doesnt mean you didnt do it at all. saying that would be lying. but he just doesnt get it! also im not so sure it wasnt intentional. also he gets in trouble ont he bus quite often, but the thing is, those kids on the bus suck! they are always being mean to nephi for no reason and nephi doesnt take crap from anybody so he ends up getting himself in trouble. now i like that nephi defends himself, but im scared of him getting hurt or hurting someone else. i dont know exactly how to handle that.

advice on any of this would be quite helpful

and emmalily, shes a sweet little angel... if you are a a grown up. if you are a four year old girl, shes down right a plain little jerk!!! for some unknown reason she can not for the life of her play with more than two girls at a time and gets really mean if youre a third little girl trying to play with her clique. this sickens me because i was quite the opposite as a child. i would play with tons of kids whether i knew them or not and i always thought the more the merrier!! i really do not understand why she needs to have her small clique and on top of that she needs to be the one in charge, the controller of this tiny group, like in mean girls!?!?! it has nothing to do with liking the kids, nothing what so ever. it has to do with being able to control everything they are doing at that moment and being able to control the people she is playing with.... i need to find a way to turn this in to a positive thing!! she would make a brilliant class president or even a US president someday, but i need to make sure it doesnt go down a nasty unforgiving road first.

as for willow, well shes just a baby! i love her and everything seems pretty good. aside from the fact that her sleep schedule is totally off cause of hawaii, but its getting fixed slowly.

i mean, things arent really too bad. i just needed to vent some frustration and this totally helped.