Four Children

As im sure most of you noticed by now, Shane and I now have four children together.

Some people would ask me, "Are you insane?!" I noticed that those people usually dont have kids. The ones that do have kids often ask, "So how many more are you planning to have?" I know its usually just a joke, but Im thinking, "Um yeah right, I'm retiring my uterus."
I sometimes feel bad when I think this because I always knew that Shane wanted like ten kids. But he also knew that I didnt want to be pregnant more than four times. Since we didn't have triplets and twins, its just not happening that way.

Also, we can't exactly fit more than four kids in student housing without breaking some kind of rules! We're still on the wait list for a three bedroom as it is!! Even though 860 sq ft for 6 people is totally LAME, it will be better once there are two seperate "rooms'" for the boys and girls. Then mom and dad get their space back and once Willow stops breastfeeding everything will be back to normal. And by "everything" I mean my horomones (aka attitude, patience, overall mood) which will end up being better for everyone.

Seriously, as if childrearing wasn't already physically hard enough, you add the emotional stress from adjusting to a new baby and then chemical imbalances from the overload of horomones during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Then add the fact that someone forgot to mention that "pregnancy brain" lasts a lot longer than just pregnancy! Oh yeah, and im hungrier now more than ever!!

Ill be so relieved if I can make it the whole year.

Life comes at you fast, especially when you have children.

One of my biggest fears (Im sure a lot of people also fear this) is that I won't be a good parent. I want to be perfect so that my kids will try to be even better than that. But, we all know that nobody is perfect, ever. I want to be a better example for them, i want them to succeed in life. to be good people and live a good life, helping others, showing love and being a good example in general. The problem is that ive noticed that the older one gets the less perfect, the less innocent, the less generous, the less loving, the more bitter and hateful they get.
I know this because as it has happened to you, its happened to me. i saw the world so differently as a child.

Birth Story

My mom came over on Tuesday July 7 to go to the beach with us and hang out before the baby came. We took her to Corona Del Mar, because we usually take her to Balboa but this time we wanted to go somewhere closer. Even though it was a Tuesday afternoon it was still full of people!
So we got the kids all dressed and ready to go, everyone was in their suits and ready for some wave action! Yes, even pregnant me and hubby too.
It was fun and relaxing to go to the beach. We all tried out the boogie boards, except Elijah because he was so not into the ocean on this particular day. I got out there in the ocean with Shane and caught a good wave on the board, even with my belly I was still able to ride the board to shore! It was awkward, but fun! I was balancing on my elbows to prevent my belly from hitting the board or the ground. Then after I was at the shore with my mom, we watched Shane catch a huge one. he was coming right for us! And for some reason, instead of running away like I may have normally done, I stood there and opened my legs creating a archway for him to go through! I was a little afraid he would clip my ankles while attempting to make a clean glide through, but not afraid enough to move. And he did it! Boy I wish we had that on video. It would have looked hilarious! Sorry that had little or nothing to do with the birth, it was just awesome.
After we were all tuckered out and hungry, we left the beach with extra shovels and a satisfied exhaustion.
Then we got ice cream at Thriftys on the way back home. And to top off the fun, they had a two scoop special for 99 cents!!!
When we got home we cleaned up Elijah's mystery foot injury that had showed up out of nowhere on the fourth of July. Then had our home teacher come by and help Shane give him a blessing. Since they were already there doing blessings I figured why not do a blessing for my labor and delivery to go safely.
Before my mom left she gave me a pedicure, something i had been meaning to go get but was hesitant because of the cost. After i convinced her to put glitter pink on top of black nail polish, because old lady soft pink just isn't my style and it had to be pink because I was having a girl, she said good night to the kids and took my laundry home to do for me! That was really nice since the next day was my due date and I was so not feeling the laundry thing. She said she would bring it back when I went into labor, assuming of course that labor would start within the next two days.
My friend was joking that would start labor at 3 in the morning the next day. We both wished that would really happen, but on Wednesday July 8, I woke up around 9am and didn't feel any closer to labor. :-(
The poor kids have been getting up by themselves for the last couple of weeks because i had been so tired lately with obvious causes. So this morning since we were out of cereal i decided to make them pancakes, because i was feeling much better, slightly more energetic and they deserved a treat.
Nephi was helping me in the kitchen while the others were playing in the living room. Shane had to go teach his class this morning from 9 to 11 and my friend staying with us went out for a run, so we were on our own for the time being.
its funny, there were a few things i wanted to do this morning but when i woke up i forgot about them.
So we finished the batter, had the stove on and i was about to poor the pancakes when my first contraction hit. It was different from before, i knew it was real but it was a little less intense than my last two labor contractions. So i looked at Nephi and told him that mommy was going to have the baby today, and yes i can still make the pancakes. And so i finished making the pancakes while I called Shane, It was already 11am so he had just finished class when I called him. He came running home! I made a birth plan online while I was waiting for contractions to get harder and frequent enough to have to go to the hospital. We got everything ready, when my friend returned we told her what was happening, she got the kids ready to go to the park and play so they will have something to do while waiting for baby sister to come! We called our moms and dads, then by the time we left it was around noon. Shane joked about going to get a burger before hitting the hospital, because that is what my dad actually did on the way to the hospital when my parents had me!! Of course since my last three labors were less than four hours long and i had so far been laboring for an hour and a half i had refused to let him do that, although we both knew he was half joking.
Shane was on the 73 headed North when he asked me which way to go after that. I looked at him and was in shock, "I have never driven to the hospital this way!" i had always just gone up PCH, although i knew that a closer entrance was off Newport blvd, and i remembered that the 55 S turned into Newport. So that's what i told him, then he remembered too because i know he had driven away from the hospital that way before.
So of course there was really bad traffic getting off the 55 merging into Newport, there ALWAYS is and I straight forgot! But i wasn't too worried, because the contractions were not hard enough to push out a baby yet.
On the way there my mother-in-law called asking for directions to the hospital. i didn't know why she needed them yet or why she was calling me while i was in labor, because Shane and i had agreed that the birth would be more relaxing if we didn't have anyone in the room that wasn't legally obliged to be there. So then Shane let me know that he never actually told her she was not invited to the birth. She missed our first child's birth because she had left the room and when she came back they were not allowing anyone else in because i was about to deliver. i of course had no clue what was going on at the time, but Shane said she was very very hurt by it and he couldn't hurt her more by telling her not to come, so i figured as long as she was quiet and respectful (which she was) why not let her be there this time. Of course i knew my mother would be very upset about this because she wanted to be there very badly, but she was there for the births of our first two and she has five more kids that haven't had children yet, so she has plenty of chances to be at more births.
We got to the hospital and went up to the labor and delivery floor to check in. We had to wait because the place was full! Luckily we didn't have to wait too long... for a room.
Now the real waiting has begun. How much longer will it take for this labor to progress? holy crap, its been two hours. That's already longer than my last labor. OMG, its now almost 3pm. That's four hours, this is officially my longest labor! Its definitely progressing, ouch. How much longer is this torture going to last? I'm really regretting not picking up some burgers now. "Shane, get me some food!!"
"The nurse said you cant eat before you give birth!"
"I don't care!!"
He didn't get me food, but he went downstairs with his mom to get her something to eat. He said he was going to wait to eat so we can be hungry together. He can be so sweet and romantic sometimes. But i was still hungry. OW, I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!! Each half hour is stretching slowly, every time I have a contraction it feels like time speeds up in between! They aren't regulating, but they are consistently getting harder and more painful. The nurse comes in when a big one hits.
"Shes transitioning now." She says ever so sweetly.
Oh, I can tell. Then next contraction comes and I can feel my body pushing the baby down into attack position. As the nurse is leaving I'm thinking, where is she going? This baby is coming now.
"shanethebabyscomin" I mumble through clenched teeth. I'm trying to remember my breathing, its easier to relax when Shane is stroking my hair and holding me. Another contraction hits and I'm screaming it now,
"SHES COMING!!!!"
"Mom, get the nurse!"
Shane starts laughing as his mother attempts to open the door but it somehow unable to. She yells at the door as she struggles to open it, finally success! I have another contraction as the nurse and doctor run in with the equipment and begin to set up. Shes crowning, I didn't need the nurse to tell me that this time. This time i new what my body was doing, I could feel it. Shes coming and the doctor was still setting up whatever it was. I wasn't going to wait for him so i just pushed her out with the next contraction.
What a feeling!! The water popped and she came out, nice and slow compared to EmmaLilys birth. I could feel every inch of her body as it left mine. Then I felt everything else gush out, and RELIEF swept through my body and filled every inch of what used to be there. As I held my wrinkly, soft, warm, pink baby girl in my arms for the first time, I was overwhelmed with happiness.